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Self Love: How To Love Yourself More Effectively

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Looking through the plethora of self-love and self-care ideas available online? You’ll probably come across many lists promoting things like having a movie night with a bowl of chips after a stressful work week. But one thing frequently missed in these conversations is the profound significance of discipline as the ultimate form of self-love.

Although blogs usually promote different self love techniques, there should be more discussion on the true value of self-control and discipline in exhibiting self love. Accepting discipline goes beyond the appeal of instant reward and becomes a life-changing act of self love.

Discipline Is The Highest Form Of Self Love – The Problem with Self Love

Online resources abound with self-love concepts that provide effective means of encouraging self-care. But there’s an important distinction to be noted.

Self-love is something more than fleeting pleasures and surface-level self-improvement. It goes beyond putting a band-aid on problems to make them disappear temporarily.

Genuine self-love doesn’t run from conflict, hardship, or obstacles that could drain you. Rather, it welcomes these features as chances for development and sincere self-care.

Is it Really Self-Love?

It can take more intentional work to develop self-love if you’re looking for a quick and easy way to do it.

Self-love is more than just curling up with a bowl of chips and a movie on Friday nights. If such activities are not regularly engaged in, their effects are usually transient despite the possibility of instant pleasure.

Taking part in activities that solely have a numbing effect is a typical self-love tip. Numbing is the act of momentarily diverting our attention from unpleasant sensations, ideas, or experiences. It’s the act of hiding painful truths beneath fleeting pleasures, most frequently those that are sugary, savory, or otherwise unhealthy.

To put it simply, numbing is a means of avoiding vulnerability.

Sidestepping Vulnerability

Unquestionably difficult, life is filled with a variety of hurts, hardships, and just perplexing situations that frequently try to knock us off our feet. When faced with obstacles, setbacks, and disappointments, unpleasant feelings spiral out of control.

Negative emotions have an unpleasant weight. They not only make them uncomfortable, but they also tend to make other people uncomfortable. Sadly, a false narrative has been spread that suggests weakness is synonymous with vulnerability.

Renowned vulnerability researcher Brené Brown offers a potent viewpoint on loving oneself with a motivational quotation. Her book, “Daring Greatly,” comes up as a seminal work in the study of vulnerability and may be found on many lists when you Google literature about the topic.

In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown writes:

“Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To believe vulnerability is weakness it to believe that feeling is weakness.”

This is a powerful reminder that avoiding or repressing our feelings regarding inspirational quotations about vulnerability makes no sense!

One of the main reasons people find it difficult to face their unpleasant emotions and embrace vulnerability is the belief that doing so is a sign of weakness. Consequently, a lot of people choose the simpler and more socially acceptable path of hiding, evading, or numbing these feelings.

We find ourselves giving in to the pull of fast fulfillment rather than facing our emotions head-on in an attempt to dull the pain. Regretfully, this conduct is occasionally mischaracterized as a self-love gesture.

Discipline Is the Highest Form of Self Love

If a lot of popular self-love concepts are just ways to numb vulnerable emotions, what then is the ultimate form of self-love?

One interesting quotation says, ‘The best kind of self-love is discipline.’ Although this may initially seem confusing, it dispels misconceptions about the word “discipline,” which is frequently connected to punishment.

But the real meaning of discipline is to forgo short-term enjoyment or satisfaction in favor of developing long-term self-worth and self-love. Setting your dedication to a cause above transient wants is a sign of discipline.

As part of discipline, one must take on difficult tasks now in order to create the foundation for a better future self. It calls for putting off pleasures for the moment in order to show deep love for oneself.

Discipline is not punishment, as many people believe. Its core tenet is that you create the person you are today by the things you do today. Preparing for success and easing one’s future path is a deliberate decision.

This view of discipline clarifies why it might be seen as the pinnacle of self-love. Discipline, far from being punitive, is an expression of self-love that prioritizes one’s future over one’s desires.

This is a far cry from the self-love strategy of “movie and a bowl of chips” that was previously discussed. Even though these indulgences could make you feel good for a short while, they don’t have the same long-term beneficial effects on your future self as disciplined behavior.

How to Use Discipline as Self Love

What then is the best method for practicing self-love?

Self-discipline is one of the most powerful ways to demonstrate self-love, even though it’s not always the simplest. It takes a lot of work to make difficult decisions that are in your best interests.

Throughout the day, we are faced with a plethora of decisions, from seemingly minor ones (like choosing a fork at lunch) to major ones (like choosing to report sick).

The first step to using discipline as a form of self-love is realizing that your choices now will affect who you are in the future. Understanding this relationship allows you to Put Yourself First even when presented with difficult decisions.

It can be difficult to navigate this, particularly when the need for rapid pleasure is great. But picture yourself in the future as a unique person you love. This viewpoint facilitates the recognition of your power, which is the capacity to help or hurt that special someone. You wouldn’t intentionally make choices that might hurt someone you love sincerely, after all.

Starting a conversation with oneself within can be a beneficial tactic. Imagine discussing this:

Present Self: I really need to relax tonight, so I’m going to stay up late, future self.

Future You: Pay attention. Never treat me like way again! Recall how miserable we were yesterday night and how we felt this morning?

Current Self: Yes, I am aware of it. But today I didn’t have any alone time! I want to be a little more kind toward myself. You’re aware? Give myself a treat!

Future Self: Man, that’s hardly self-love! It’s actually disguised quick satisfaction!

Even if it might sound a little fanciful, pretending to have a talk with your future self can really help you stay focused on the important things in life.

Examples of Using Discipline as Self-Love

There are many so-called “easy ways” in life, and we all face the everyday temptation to choose ease over a more solid, healthier course.

Although shortcuts might seem like a quicker path to a happy existence, they only avoid the hard effort that is necessary for true self-love.

Let’s look at some examples of how practicing discipline may be a potent way to show yourself love in all areas of your life!

Being Disciplined with Your Goals and Dreams

Are there goals and objectives you have for your life? Consider how many of them you’ve completed successfully and how often you give up on the objectives you set for yourself.

Finding that discipline greatly increases your chances of achieving your goals is not surprising. After all, having a well-thought-out plan and being committed to following it is what really separates goals from just wants.

This idea applies to a wide range of goals, including those related to your career, income, and well-being. Setting aside time for your future self and remaining steadfastly committed can greatly improve your chances of succeeding in your endeavors!

Being Disciplined with Your Health

While it’s a popular desire, sticking to a balanced diet and regular exercise routine might be one of the hardest things to do.

Imagine yourself in front of a tantalizing 24-slice slab of pepperoni and cheese following a taxing workweek full with tiresome confrontations. You try to control what you eat, but it’s hard to resist the temptation of that nicely melted cheese and the sensation of its chewiness. How could one slice be harmful? But one slice easily escalates to five, and then six feels like a nice stopping point in a moment of poor self-esteem. While the pleasure of fatty goodness may provide a short-term relief from stress, come Monday morning the consequences will undoubtedly return with a vengeance.

The attraction of a few extra hours of sleep takes precedence over your original plan to exercise before work on Monday. While the odd pleasure and the occasional missed workout are normal, regular overindulgence or avoidance can cause issues.

Developing the self-discipline to start a self-care regimen that includes consistent exercise and a healthy food is a practical method to show your future self how much you care!

Being Disciplined with Your Time

Making effective use of your time is a sign of discipline as an act of self-love.

Start a compelling experiment by keeping note of the amount of time spent each week on activities like looking through social media or watching TV.

While taking a mental vacation is perfectly okay, spending too much time in front of a screen might eat up precious time that could be spent engaging in sincere self-love activities.

The secret to staying disciplined with your time is to prioritize things that improve your own well-being, create realistic boundaries, and strike a balance between work and play!

Being Disciplined with Your Loved Ones

Loving yourself also means loving how you interact with those you care about.

One way to demonstrate self-love through discipline is to purposefully leave your phone upstairs when you’re spending time with your kids. While there’s no denying the appeal of scrolling through social media, building real relationships with your children seems more significant to show your future self that you love them.

Self Love Quotes

It is undeniably difficult to embrace self-discipline; it requires steadfast dedication to a goal beyond fleeting pleasures.

The advantages of self-control greatly outweigh the transient joy of quick fulfillment.

Prominent people have disseminated inspirational sayings throughout history emphasizing the inextricable connection between self-love and self-control. Look through these Intentional Self Motivation Quotes regarding self-control to see how it might improve your life.

“The one quality which sets one man apart from another – the key which lifts one to every aspiration while others are caught up in mediocrity – is not talent, formal education, nor intellectual brightness. It is self-discipline. With self-discipline, all things are possible. Without it, even the simplest goal can seem like the impossible dream.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves… self-discipline with all of them came first.” – Harry S. Truman

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius

“The centre of bringing any dream into fruition is self-discipline.” – Will Smith

Embracing Your Worth:

  1. “You are worthy of love and respect, no matter what.” – Wayne Dyer
  2. “Your self-worth is determined by you. You are valuable and deserving, no matter what anyone else says.” – Unknown
  3. “Scarcity of self-value cannot be remedied by money, recognition, affection, attention or influence.” – Gary Zukav
  4. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
  5. “You are imperfect, and you are beautiful.” – Amy Poehler

Acceptance and Kindness:

  1. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  2. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson
  3. “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” – Brené Brown
  4. “Be kind to yourself. You wouldn’t treat a friend the way you treat yourself.” – Unknown
  5. “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” – Sophia Bush

Celebrating Your Uniqueness:

  1. “What makes you different makes you beautiful.” – Maya Angelou
  2. “Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.” – Unknown
  3. “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
  4. “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
  5. “You are enough just as you are.” – Meghan Markle

Growth and Forgiveness:

  1. “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  2. “Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Mind, body, and soul.” – Unknown
  3. “Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made and move on.” – Steve Maraboli
  4. “Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” – Mandy Hale
  5. “You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.” – Mary J. Blige

Letting Go and Trusting Yourself:

  1. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
  2. “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.” – John D. Rockefeller
  3. “Trust the voice within that whispers ‘you are capable.'” – Carolyn Myss
  4. “Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are.” – Unknown
  5. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

Finding Joy and Purpose:

  1. “Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as possible, and love with all your heart.” – Unknown
  2. “Life is not meant to be lived in perfect moments. It’s meant to be lived as a whole with moments of joy, sadness, frustration, and happiness.” – Unknown
  3. “Your purpose in life is to find your gift. Your gift is to give it away.” – Pablo Picasso
  4. “You are not obligated to win. You are obligated to keep trying. To the best of your ability. Every day.” – Randy Pausch
  5. “Life is a journey, not a destination.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Strength and Resilience:

  1. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela
  2. “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A.A. Milne
  3. “She who overcomes her fears will truly be free.” – Maya Angelou
  4. “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” – Aristotle Onassis
  5. “Don’t let the world dim your shine.” – Unknown

Celebrating Others and Spreading Love:

  1. “A life not lived for others is not a life.” – Albert Einstein
  2. “Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” – Helen Keller
  3. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

Discipline and Self-Love in Your Life

Making choices that are in your best interests—both for the current and the future versions of yourself—is a sign of self-love.

It can be difficult to find long-term satisfaction because it requires taking into account factors other than instant gratification.

It takes time to cultivate discipline; it doesn’t happen instantly. It takes constant commitment and self-discipline practice to cultivate self-love.

Self Love Affirmations:

Affirmations for self love are as necessary as learning Powerful Hacks To Stay Positive and Motivated

Embracing Your Worth:

  1. I am worthy of love and respect, just as I am.
  2. I am valuable and deserving of happiness and success.
  3. My achievements or external validation does not define my worth.
  4. I am grateful for who I am and the unique gifts I bring to the world.
  5. I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally.

Self-Compassion and Kindness:

  1. I forgive myself for my mistakes and choose to learn and grow from them.
  2. I treat myself with kindness and understanding, just as I would a loved one.
  3. I am worthy of my own love and compassion.
  4. I release negative self-talk and choose to speak to myself with kindness.
  5. I celebrate my strengths and accomplishments, big and small.

Confidence and Self-Belief:

  1. I am capable and confident in my abilities.
  2. I trust my intuition and inner wisdom to guide me.
  3. I am brave enough to face challenges and pursue my dreams.
  4. I believe in myself and my potential to achieve great things.
  5. I am worthy of success and abundance in all areas of my life.

Growth and Acceptance:

  1. I am constantly learning and evolving, becoming the best version of myself.
  2. I embrace change and see it as an opportunity for growth.
  3. I am open to new experiences and challenges.
  4. I accept myself, flaws and all, and appreciate the journey of self-discovery.
  5. I am worthy of love and belonging, regardless of my imperfections.

Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care:

  1. I set healthy boundaries to protect my energy and well-being.
  2. I prioritize self-care and make time for activities that nourish my mind, body, and soul.
  3. I listen to my needs and say no to things that drain my energy.
  4. I am worthy of rest and relaxation.
  5. I create a safe and supportive environment for myself to thrive.

Finding Joy and Gratitude:

  1. I choose to focus on the positive aspects of my life.
  2. I am grateful for the blessings and opportunities that come my way.
  3. I find joy in the simple things in life.
  4. I celebrate my successes and learn from my challenges.
  5. I choose to live a life filled with passion and purpose.

Inner Strength and Resilience:

  1. I am strong and capable of overcoming any obstacle.
  2. I have the courage to face my fears and step outside my comfort zone.
  3. I am resilient and bounce back from setbacks with grace and determination.
  4. I learn from my mistakes and use them to grow stronger.
  5. I believe in my ability to create a life I love.

Spreading Love and Positivity:

  1. I radiate love and kindness to myself and others.
  2. I choose to uplift and support those around me.
  3. I contribute positively to the world with my unique gifts and talents.
  4. I believe in the power of connection and community.
  5. I share my love and light with the world, making it a better place.

Repeating these affirmations daily with conviction can help you cultivate a strong sense of self-love and build a foundation for a happy and fulfilling life.

A Helpful Tool: Habit Tracker Printable

Building routines that you can stick to is necessary to maintain constant self-control. Establishing and maintaining routines is essential to this process.

Despite what certain quick-fix advertisements may suggest, there is no quick fix for developing self-love. It calls for dedication and constant work.

Use a habit tracker printable to help you see and control your habits better. List the habits you want to form or break with these tools. Whether you’d like to use a habit tracker to record your habits every day, every month, or every year, it’s a powerful way to stay disciplined and show yourself love. Thus, when the need to seek out short-term solace strikes, keep in mind that self-control is the pinnacle of self-love. Accepting this viewpoint could be the inspiration you require to make the commitment to a lifetime of self-love.


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